It is more uncomfortable for our students to be misgendered than it is for us to begin to use language we are not use to.
So I am going in a bit of a different direction for this post. There will be no particular piece of literature that I will refer to, but I wanted to cover the topic of they/them as a singular pronouns. I have noticed it is an area that educators, especially us English teachers, are getting hung-up on.You will find many articles and resources in the Classroom Toolbox that will help guide you through the topic.
As a society we are programmed to see the world through a binary lens when it comes to gender. Even as we start to make progress toward a more accepting and educated society regarding transgender issues, many of us, even well-meaning educators, still have a hard time seeing gender as a fluid spectrum. I can't tell you how many teachers have said to me, "I can get behind the whole transgender issue, but I have such a hard time using the pronoun they as singular." Teachers can be the worst at this because when it comes to grammar, we feel we have to stick by the "rules". With a little research, we can come to understand that the "rules" have historically favored the singular pronoun they. Even if it didn't, we need to accept the idea that language changes as society changes. In fact, in the US, we don't have an official language committee that governs our language rules; it is often society that makes the rules as our culture and language needs change.
Why is it so important that educators become comfortable using the gender neutral pronouns they/them? Because it is more uncomfortable for our students to be misgendered than it is for us to begin to use language we are not use to. It is that simple. For a student who does not identify as either a female or male, it can be emotionally traumatizing when they are misgendered. We need to recognize and respect our students for who they are. The real change begins when we actually start using they/them as singular pronouns. Start practicing and it will begin to feel more like a part of your daily language.
CLASSROOM TOOLBOX:
- We all mess up! When you do: acknowledge it, apologize and mean it, and make an effort to continue trying your best.
- Start including they/them as singular pronouns when you create writing prompts. I often give my students the choice of his/her/they when I create a prompt that includes pronouns.
- Get writing ourselves. Write using the pronouns they/them in your own writing. Try writing to the same writing prompts you give your students and chose they/them pronouns. Read the writing aloud to yourself.
- Read articles and stories that use they/them pronouns. There is a great book that I hope to review on this blog, Beyond Magenta that highlights the journeys of gender fluid youth. The chapter, "NAT: Something Else " is a wonderful story of a person who uses they/them pronouns.
- Use the stories mentioned above as model material in your classroom. Don't shy away because of comfort. Students need us to use model text that is more inclusive and to normalize these pronouns for everyone.
- Here is a great article that gives tips on how to ask students their pronoun respectfully.
LINKS TO OTHER TOOLBOX IDEAS:
All Your Questions About Gender Neutral Pronouns Answered
Tips for being an Ally that Respects Pronouns
Washington Post/They is the Word of 2015
In my college classes for majority of my classes, there’s a paper we fill out based on what we want to be called and what pronoun we would like to use and then even something we think our professor should know about us. It’s an easier way for professors and teachers to know what their students want to be referred to as without having to directly ask or having the student individually tell you on their own (because some may not be comfortable).
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