Teachers Teaching Trans: Creating a More Gender Inclusive Classroom Through Literature: HOW TO ASK STUDENTS THEIR PRONOUNS AND HOW TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE CLASSROOM

This blog post is a bit different than the typical book review and lesson sharing that I usually do, but I am often asked, especially at this time of the year, when teachers are getting their list of students, how to ask a student their pronoun. Many teachers have found that relying on attendance and grade book programs are not always accurate, and as our culture has not yet completely caught up with normalizing asking someone's pronouns, it often puts teachers in uncomfortable situations, which then puts the student in an uncomfortable situation, and who really wants to start the year off this way? This got me thinking about ways we could create more inclusive classrooms right from the start and how we can find out and respect a student's pronoun and preferred name.

TOP 11 WAYS TO RESPECT, ASK, AND USE STUDENT PRONOUNS AND CREATE A SAFE SPACE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR

1. Be patient and understand your own bias

It is important to understand that students are often on a journey of self-discovery and understanding their own identities, and we want to make sure we are respecting and supporting them. That means being patient as students find the name and pronoun that feels right to them. Remember some students may have had a longer time to explore this than other students. Some students have parents that have allowed this space for self-discovery from a young age, and those students may come to you feeling more secure about their name and pronoun choices. While other students may have just begun that journey. The level of support the student has at home and in their communities will vary. Sometimes students will step forward and express a gender identity and name change, but decide ultimately it does not fit, or sometimes they may get such a harsh and scary response from those around them that they quickly pull back. As teachers we just need to support them no matter where they are and what their current decision is. We need to send them the message that discovering who they are and their identity is a normal part of growing up, and let them know we are here for them however they need us to be.

2. Create a non-judgemental and safe space for your students

Put up signs in your classroom that the classroom is a safe space: safe space stickers, affirming and supportive LBGTQ posters and signs, showcase inclusive literature in the classroom, on your syllabus, and in your curriculum. Make sure to follow up this safe space advertisement with the work of making sure it stays safe.

3. Continue to educate yourself

When you don't understand something, try to reserve judgement and instead turn what could be a judgmental statement into a question for inquiry. Look for books, resources, local community organizations, blogs, and other resources to search out the answer to your questions. If something about a student's gender identify makes you feel uncomfortable, examine your biases, ask yourself why, and do the work of finding out more information. Don't wait for the student to educate you. They might, but it should not be an expectation. It is our responsibility as educators to research and educate ourselves. This might be a good time to reach out to your community resources and school connections that can help you. See the resources list below.

4. Use a welcome handout that will ask all your students their preferred names and pronouns

A welcome handout can be a way to normalize asking someone their pronoun and preferred name without putting them on the spot. Make it a fun and non-threatening handout that asks the student get-to-know-you questions that are easy and fun; don't just focus on their name and pronoun. As a writing teacher, I will often ask them to give me some information about their history as writers. Just this year, I have decided to add a comment that if their name or pronoun changes, to please feel free to let me know. You may suggest different ways they can do that: email, a note handed to you, a private conversation, or whatever makes them feel comfortable. See an example welcome handout under resources.

5. If you make a mistake, own it, move on, and do better next time

If you make a mistake with a student's pronoun or name, apologize immediately and let them know you will make sure it doesn't happen again. Do NOT make a big production about it or put a spotlight on the student. Then genuinely make the effort to get it right. This may mean that on your own time you practice speaking and writing the name and pronoun. Remember you will be modeling this for other students as well.

6. Do not get defensive

When you are called out on not using the right pronoun or when someone seeks to educate you, do not get defensive. We are all learning and if we want to be an allies, learning and helping each other is a part of being a supportive ally.

7. Normalize using pronouns

When you introduce yourself to your class, include your pronoun. Also, put your pronouns at the bottom of your emails where you put your name and organization information. I am seeing this more and more in the professional world.

8. Work on using more gender neutral language

Practice and begin using language like "folks" "students" "friends" even "y'all". Avoid "guys" "girls" "boys" "ladies" or "gentlemen". Use gender neutral language in your lessons and prompts. This will be great practice for both you and your students.

9. Avoid asking other students the names and pronouns of another student

They may feel like they are outing a student or uncomfortable being put on the spot. Ask other teachers, a guidance counselor, or update the welcome handout and pass it out again. Maybe if you feel there has been a switch, quietly and privately ask the student if they are still comfortable with the name and pronoun that you have been using.

10. Invite LBGTQ community members and organizations into the classroom

Many organizations have educational programs and would love to bring in guest speakers and educators to help you in the classroom. I have learned so much from my LBGTQ community members and organizations and often rely on them. Talk with your school's GSTA or GSA advisers and get involved if you can. If students see you involved in their events, you build trust with them.

11. Keep the student at the center of the motivation

It may be hard and even feel uncomfortable to do something you are not used to or that you are unsure of, but it feels more uncomfortable to be misgendered by your teacher and peers. Listen to understand and make sure the student knows you value them.

Resources